I think all I needed for me to go from Mr.Blue to Mr.Awesome is to get away from my blog and realize that no matter how hard you try, something aren't worth holding on to.

To never have conflict, is to never truly believing in anything.

Sex is like any other drug, to get the same rush you need higher dosage, till the time it becomes obsolete. Trust me I know.

I was going to make this post to tell parents how to figure out that your kid is smoking... but I think I will be nicer to my bros and not most it.

going to an anime-con this january and later in august, anyone want to join me?

people so far
the boys

I want to go play badminton too... I just don't have time anymore.

To be a bro of not, is not the question. The question is how can I have fun this weekend without hurting a bro's feelings.

I made a stranger cry - "i know when they are playing hard to get, but seriously she is just not that into you"

Going to go buy myself a costume tomorrow... still cant make up my mind but i am getting one and sticking to it

Going to go buy myself a costume tomorrow... still cant make up my mind but i am getting one and sticking to it

Single people blog more than people in a relationship, true story!

Why live in the moment, whats done is done and and we dont know whats happening tomorrow, all we have control over is the now.

Well tonight was eventful. first time in a long time when we just sat and chilled.

yay.. it works, i can watch naruto

atleast w3schools work, time to learn webdesign

I know i have said this before but i need some help with my smoking.

the internet is not kind at southgate. it is taking forever to load facebook and anime

Life experience- sneak into a movie- check. 10security guards surround the theatre for ticket check-check. Don't get caught going to a theatre without a ticket- check. Get a free tmovie ticket- check. Life experience upgraded.

Quotes and friends- Learned a little from all of you.

Ishank Charles: People can steal everything from you, but they can never steal your education.
Doan  Tran: Dude, I am me 24/7, sometime it works with the ladies and sometimes it doesn't
Kathryn Lacanaria: Be instinctual.
Abdul Shakhoor: No one is worth waiting this long.
Russel Fidddelmen: Its great how we have kept in touch over the year, that usually doesn't happen.
Mat Holmes: Bitches goin crazy.
Samar Souky: Usually by the time we get to the nice guys, you are already taken.
Harnam Matharu: I want to grow up, but not that fast.

Kathryn should come to school tomorrow, I have something to show her.

Have an awesome time at the Avril Lavigne's concert guys.

I hope everyone is having an awesome Thanks Givings.

And just when things where getting fun, it happened AGAIN!

Awesome night at lucky 13

I wonder what will happen to apple, now that Steve Jobs is dead.

I heard a group of black folks have a "yo mama" showdown while coming back home tonight. lol

I am running on 2 hrs of sleep, I am going to sleep like a baby tonight. Hopefully I wont sleep for 15 hrs straight again, like on tuesday.

Happy belated Birthday Rishi, :D

University was awesome, I am glad that I skipped school to go to one of their classes.

Is it weird to be out on the deck, alone, wearing nothing but your boxers, trying to think with a blank mind.

I like girls who have opinions. Its an attractive quality.

Send me all your angels tonight, I am barely hanging on the edge of lonely.

I am glad that I am a romantic like my dad. :D

I started singing this while my mom was listening and she is Astonished by the fact that I know the song. Dad used to sing it all the time mom, when he missed you.

Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
Ill never ask for more than your love
Nothings gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothings gonna change my love for you 

Send me all your angels tonight

What am I gonna do tonight
When I’m one step closer to the other side
It’s east to pretend
But the world’s got me feeling out of place
How will all this end?
It’s so hard to say


Everyday, gotta face the fact that
I’m trying to reach the demons on my back
And I’m hoping to hold on
Don’t wanna make friend tonight
With the faces, with the faces
Not this time
When will all this end?
Just give me a sign

Send me all your angels tonight
I’m barely hanging on the edge of lonely
Trying to turn this all around before I
Hit the ground and end up face down
Send me all your angels, now

Better days are sure to come
I don’t wanna come undone
So show me what I’m living for, yeah


Send me all your angels tonight
I’m barely hanging on the edge of lonely
Trying to turn this all around before I
Hit the ground and end up face down
Send me all your angels, now
Send me all your angels now
Send me all your angels, now
Oh, ooh

What am I gonna do tonight
When I’m one step closer to the other side

And there we go another good reason to come to school... hot people of the opposite sex.

There is a hot chick in my class, every time we look at each other, we just smile.

I will follow my last post up with this one. Your education is the one thing no one can ever steal from you... so get to class.

They are dropping people from all classes, so someone should get to class....

In the moment song

WE meet a thousand people everyday and none of them move you and then you meet that one person and they change your life forever

Life experience

1. Have a 2 day party - check
2. Miss a day at work- check
3. Talk to one of those servers(she was actually nice)- check
4. Get a guys number- check
5. Cock block a random drunk guy- check
6. Get kicked out of a bar, for no good reason- check
7. Awesome nights with friends- check
Every night has a happy ending, hope you had a good night too, ("Dont wait up for us") ;)

EPIC *FACEPALM* MOMENT

Barney Stinson: "Best friends; Now that's a commitment. Girlfriend is like...a flu, couple of weeks in bed and then ur good to go" lololol

When I was younger my grand parents promised me that they will be there for my wedding, my grandma passed away nine years ago and now I might be losing my grandfather soon and the worst part about it is that he doesn't know about it and I wont be able to see him one last time.

"Particles in fact don't really exist, and so... at some level we don't exist"

This one got me thinking about my existence, about our existence. Our life's accomplishments, our hopes and dreams are nothing more than a spec, a *blip* in our universe.

 

So what is the value of a being, do we exist, are we significant in this universe who' s realm is so infinitely infinite. I learn't this in calculus the other day, 1/∞= 0. Funny thing about zero is that it exists, it is worth something. So.. we are significant, our lives really do mean something, we really do exist. After all its only when every single particles combine, is when we make the universe. 

Life lessons In animation class- What makes us real is that we are not perfect.

I am glad that certain feelings are starting to subside.

Happy Birthday Dadai

Hey Life! Ya you, I only got one thing to tell you, hit me with your best shot.

I need to go to the doctors soon.

Today I realized that I still haven't grown up. I was overwhelmingly scared, of what I don't know. So I went to my mom's room and hugged her and started crying.

My latest creation

Sometimes eavesdropping can be bad. I feel really bad for the emo guy.

guy1: dude she is getting engaged, how can you be ok with this
guy2: coz she is a friend
guy1: but u still have feelings for her.
guy2: honestly i have mixed feelings, as a friend I feel great for her, I helped her get with the dude. But on the other hand I feel like shit. I just wont to go out and have a drink right now
guy1: dude that shit u drink is like poison.
guy2: it isn't, I tried it out the other night and it doesn't work.

Thought this was a funny idea

i was going to post this 4 mins ago but ohh well. Its 11:11 guys make a wish

First pic i made in animation and web design class.

For anyone who cares.. I GOTS THE NUMBER

A friend of mine has breast cancer and is going for surgery soon.

Want to know a funny story, I used to have dreams that i was chasing something too, I chased it and got closer and closer, my heart beating faster with anticipation but every time I tried to catch it, i would miss it and wake up with a tear running down my eye.

If people where looking close enough, they would know that u where crying. Otherwise nahh don't worry about it.

Someone else's body

Today I got into a shirt that used to fit me weird. IT FELT GOOD. But for a while now and even now I feel that this body, isn't mine, I am not talking about the sexual aspect but rather about the physical aspect. I call it my fat suit and just like it, it feels fake, like it doesn't belong. It stops me from doing things I used to be able to do, making me subconscious and in-confident . Confidence is something I need and while i am in this suit, it is going to be hard to get any.

My lucky number is thirteen

luck is how you perceive it, take for example you could consider someone's death as an awful thing or you can consider it as them finally being relieved from their misery. 

had a change of heart

i was thinking that.... you know what keeping this blog around is ok i guess... almost done with my emo phase for the rest of the year. lets see if i attempt to delete this blog next year.

I have decided on deleting my blogs, thank you for the views, and not commenting about my insanity.... now then where is the delete button, I guess the blogs going to be around for a bit longer... but only till i find that button

I am free all of this long weekend. anyone want to chill.

I have so much I want to say, sad that it all has to be kept secret.

People had a lot of spare time this summer. how do I know this?; Well I haven't blogged at all and yet my views are on an upward curve.

Guys, sometimes doing impulsive, stupid things are important. Now how am I supposed to look good for work tomorrow...

Capital X was pretty good, had dinner at montanas with abdul and bree, bought wow, have a lvl 40 shaman now, they are awesome, I am really missing a few friends, you know who you are, give me a call, we will chill sometime.

Some may call me racist, most call me a comedian

Ahahahahah! I love the guild's music videos, sooo funny, (remember to pause the music below first before playing)

Here is a tip "bro"

I am not the type of guy who picks up random chicks, I don't smack asses in bars even if she wants me to, I don't do one night stands and I most definitely will not help you get that hot chick across the bar drunk so that you can get laid. So don't call me bro, I am a complete stranger, never met you before, so don't try to make a cosmic connection with me just because we are of the same ethnicity, I am not going to do you any favors for it. Me and you are nothing alike and I am most certainly not your "bro".

Have you ever wished for the same thing over and over again only to have it not come true.

What hides in the rain

I hear it rain, I hear it chime,
the clouds roar, the clouds cry.
standing on this ledge, how shy am I
none can hear me, then why don't I cry
Cry why, why should I
Chivalry is the code I stand by.

Love you in my heart I have,
and to say we are but friends.
So when I imagine you with another man,
why does my heart take offence,
why are we but friends.

The future is uncertain, I must make mends,
So that I can take you away against all trends
Shame its a fantasy, its not what nature intends
you and I; I wish that true, I feel condemned.
I must rise a man well suited for a maiden.
So I will see you till then,
till  the time has come for me to see you again.

But for now I'll let it rain,
let the clouds roar and cry again,
let the thunder hide my pain,
and let the heavenly tears can hide mine in them.

-Rishi Banerjee

How long does it take to forget someone?

For some it's in an instant and for others it may be a life time.
If they are around you or there are things that remind you of them, then you will remember them for a long time sometimes never forgetting them at all. However if their influence is removed slowly but surely you will forget them, and they will forget you.
Have you ever hoped that someone forgets you?
Life is like a book and when we meet someone they become a chapter, a character in our book and we in theirs. If you ever want to have someone forget you then just disappear, leave their book, in time there will be others who will overshadow your life's chapter in their book.
How can you make someone remember you?
There is no real way to have someone remember you, with age they will forget, however you can make them somewhat remember you by either causing them great joy or by harming them greatly, I guess in the end all it comes down to is how you want them to remember you as?

For the past week I have experienced the life of an adult and I don't mean the good life. I haven't spoken to my friends, I am always tiered, life is really boring, video games are unsatisfactory, can't romanticize about falling in love and find simply standing by and observing, very interesting. Is this what an adult's life is like?

I get really emotional when I am drunk. I say stuff that I would never say out loud.

Had my first hang over yesterday.. painful but bare able the sad part is there is nothing I could do to get rid of it.

And then I wanted to give KL a hug.

Lets get serious here, we all sat during the commencement because of the people we cared about, we want to see them walk the stage, we want to cheer them on, but there are lots of people we didn't know( I wish I could get to know all of you... well the most of you) so what can we do to keep ourselves entertained for the rest of the time. While most people would play angry bird, crack jokes or just doze off, I was entertaining myself by keeping the over achiever IB honor grade student to my right and the dude who couldn't wait to go out to blaze on my left occupied by my predictions. It helps knowing a few people, like the time like when I said Navneet Dhillion comes after Navdeep Dhillion, or Patricia Snow comes after ...... Snow, I knew those people. the girl on my right was never impressed and the dude on my left was... a bit too impressed. perhaps my biggest gamble that day was when I said that our president will cry. It almost broke my straight streak of perfect prediction, but on the last line, she cried. I can't remember much from her speech, except for the part of telling your crush of 3 yrs that u like her. But I did take note of what made her cry. The speech was flawless, a lovely smile on her face through the whole thing and then she said "some of us may never see each other again" I knew that was the moment, she cried and so did I(well almost), I imagined never being able to see all of my friends again, friends who became close, friends who became family, friends who we never want to let go off. That's where this game wasn't fun anymore. There are somethings I never want to be right about.

Sometimes I am glad that my mom does not completely listen to what I have to say

Me and mum walking
Mom: see that girls up there, I love her personality, she is so.. umm so
Me: (was thinking this but said it out loud) so do-able
Mom: ya, she is like lets do this, get this job done.
me: ya mom that's exactly what I meant

Looks like no glasses for me tomorrow.. hmm so where did I keep my box of contacts.

Finally fell asleep at 4am after yesterdays episode. I still have to memorize the toast for the banquet. I think I will take a printout of it, and carry it with me ti try and memorize it.

I guess I am not as brave as I thought I am. I also realized I have no self defense training.

You probably remember that I tell you that I am a little lucky. this is why. you know how in movies the guy in the shop thats being robbed always gets hurt, well I am glad it didn't happen to me.

Time to fall asleep, for anyone who is studying right now.. your not going to remember anything you study right now.

Me right before entering the exam hall for my bio 30 diploma

Me: hey Ahmed I just realized something
Ahmed: What?
Me: I am not prepared for this.

I am so tired of this world, i wishi I could close my eyes and move on to the next one.

School's almost over and I think I will miss a lot of people and there will be a lot of them who I will never see again.

NEWS this week

Spent the week taking care of babies; Still don't regret the idea about having kids someday.

In other news got canned in the nut sack yesterday while playing hockey(goalie). I know the first thought going through some of your minds are, "why the heck were you not wearing a cup?" Well.. first off, I have never played hockey before as a goalie and secondly I trusted my friends would not hit me with a hockey ball and while they are at it put a spin on it so that it keeps on rolling into me after the hit, dam I was in pain four hours after the hit. 

NAIT still sending me mail, I really want to go there asap.

Sibling love is complicated.

me : I just realized that EVERY ONE sitting with me at the banquet are couples.
sis : you should get one too
me : Monday is the last day to order banquet tickets and that's the earliest I can go to school... just not possible, besides what am I going to say, "hey I am asking you to go to the banquet with me but you only have till the end of school to make up your mind."
sis : obviously it wont work if you say it like that, you got to say something like, "hey, I am a loser who hasn't gotten a date in forever, so I would be very grateful if you came to the banquet with me and acted like you really liked me"
me : ouch.. sis: just kidding, just go out there and try your luck.
she cuddles up to me and starts reading her book again

need to finish this toast... I am soo close, just one more line.

I wonder how many people would want to remember me or talk to me after high school.

I just realized that I might never see some people after graduation ever again. Y_Y

Chronicles of my conscience- part 3- Wish you where Mafia

I was watching TV this one time and I saw the lover professing his love by writing(or carving) the name of his love on his chest/hand etc, 8yrs old me thought this would be quite romantic and decided to scribble the name of the girl I had met yesterday during the gun fight and then I hid the diary in my study. Lets fast forward ones more,  it is the last day that I am going to spend at the center, I am 12, still in love with that girl who's name I scribbled on that diary, it's been 1-2 yrs since I saw her last, during the time I at the center, I tried to tell her how I felt, but when your 10 you don't really know what to say, besides her older brother who was my first mentor, sensei; could kick my ass any day of the week, he was still one of the coolest people I have known. They pretty much just disappeared. Over the years I fantasized them being part of something cool, like the Italian mob or part of  some secret organization. This also fed into her(my conscience's personality) 

Chronicles of my conscience- part 2- gunning on charm.

Remember when we were younger, we used to play pretend. I was playing cops and cops i guess for the first time at the center, we had to make gunshot noises when we pulled our "trigger" The first time I shot mine, every one started laughing. You see no one told me to keep it nice and short like a bang-bang or a I don't know something short and sweet. I went in with "diskawuuuu" Never heard the end of it. In the crowd of people I don't really know, I fell in love and you know what they say about first love... actually I don't. For whatever reason, my conscience decided to take her appearance. 

Chronicles of my conscience- part 1- juice box.

This story starts 13 yrs ago. I was six, my mom dropped me off at the day care center. It was not my first day care center, we moved a lot so I had been to quite a few, but it was the most crowded one I had been to. I was a very shy child, I only spoke when spoken to. Lets fast forward this a couple of months, scratch that, a few weeks into the story. Usually after lunch at the center they would make juice from whatever fruit the parents would have sent them. Well one day my mom didn't send anything and I walked up to the counter and grabbed someone else's and drank it, as I finished one of the care takers told me it wasn't mine, I was traumatized, the only two thought going through my head was shit I stole someone else's drink and if I going to die for this, almost instantaneously I started crying. I stayed up during nap time waiting for the girl who's drink I just had and finally we met. I had never spoken to a girl who was not my friend before, so these words were hard to say "I am sorry". Well I was hoping for the usual reply, Grawww blah blah blah, you dog, but all she said was "its ok" those words changed my life. Why is this story important, well my conscience picked up this trait from her. 

Over the years my subconscious has developed into its own, its own being, it has face, a name. This is how it came into my life. This is chronicles of my conscience

A friend of mine always said that there is a time and place for everything. Today I said something in the wrong place at the wrong time and I am afraid that I have fallen very low in someones eyes.

This is bothering me so much, I hate reflecting on my day.

A while back my friends told me to flirt with this really beautiful girl and I just couldn't, I saw her on the bus today and I still can't flirt.

It's like what Kathryn said, "you're screwed"

A girls smile has never scared me.... till today

I swear to god, when this girl was smiling I thought that her eat were going to come out and devour me.

After what happened last weekend, I want to know more people, forge new friendships, have new experiences, be the way I used to be.

hmm.... I think I should go to sleep

After talking to a friend of mine, I can only conclude one thing.... Girls like dicks.

apparently it's attractive.... I don't want to be a dick.

I am pretty sure that I cock blocked like 6 guys at the bar last night.

Learnt an important lesson, never take a drink from anyone at a bar.

Just got home after an awesome night out at white ave, bar hopping.

Harnam ditched his shift so I took over, next one at 4 am and then at 6 am. The only thing that hurts is my ass, lets hope that's the only thing that hurts at the end of this Bik-a-thon.

I need to dress up as Shanks from one piece, here is what he looks like

I have the white shirt, shorts, and slippers, I am missing the cape the red hair(I tried to get it but failed), scar and most importantly.... the abs.

Me to my sister: Bonu, we are fucked. Her to me: fucked is an understatement for where we are right now.

As you can see I was not lying about the flipping shit part. Can someone call me and calm me down, who is going to be up this late and might be blogging... Kathryn help help help!!!!!!

right before the last post me to my sister, "what do you call that, do you call that a cake?

Making a last moment cake for mom

I am flipping shit and shitting bricks coz its my mom's birthday in 20 mins and I/we almost forgot.

My friend to me: your obsessed.

Talk with Dadu (grandpa)

me: give me your blessings
Dadu: you have my blessing, live long and prosper. Lets the energy in you radiate and influence everyone around you
My grandfather is 80yrs old (76yrs officially) and when he was telling me this, I could feel his health slipping away. My grandfather, Wing Commander for the Indian Air Force who also happened to have trained the First Indian who went to space, is lying in his bed, his body aching from doing the most ordinary of things, who and I hate saying it, is nearing the end of a long journey we call life.
I remember talking to him once and I asked him if there was something that he regretted something he did in life, to that he simply said no, and so sceptically I asked why, I did not believe that life can pass without any regrets. He replied, "the decisions that you make in life decide where you are going to end up at, I think I ended up just fine"
Mom want to see him again, before she fears its too late. I do too, but a part of  me doesn't, a part of me want to preserve the memory of that man who would carry me on his shoulder, have me punch and jump on his back, a man filled with energy, a great man. He is the only role model I have ever had and I want him to be around till I have kids but after talking to him today I am afraid that my mother might be right.
The saddest part is, his last wish is that I incinerate his body, I don't know if I can.

Convo with Mom

Mom: ohhh!! your growing up
me: i guess so
Mom: what are going to do when you grow up?
me: I don't know have some babies.

can't believe I said that out loud.

Wow, I met a lot of people, who I thought I will never be able to see again. Talking to them made me realize how fragile life is.

All of my playlists on my youtube account are named after different anime, ironically all the playlists have a different feel to them.

I realized that I sound more drunk when, I am really really sleepy, than when I am actually drinking. p.s. never gotten drunk

Really want to go play badminton tomorrow.. i mean today.

You want to know what's annoying.. "Broh, yo broh; you know what we should do broh" an hour of complete torture by the grade 10 "gangsters", feel really bad for you Mat.

Up till 4:30 am playing poker with the boys.

I hate it how every time me and my mom get into an argument, my mom pulls the whole "this is the reason you will never have a girlfriend". At first it was just on the big fights, now its every single time.

If I were an animal, I would still find a way to say I love you.

I finally realized what you meant, when you asked me to take the other exit.

I got my high school diploma today, a whole 2 months before school ends, very proud of myself.

Just pulled an unintentional all nighter.

"I can massage your foot... I am like a black belt at foot massage" - random pick up line

Went to Multicultural Night and will never regret it, KL should have been there, she could have had all the jalebies she wanted for $3.

Girl:" I'm cold" Guy: "here" (gives her his jacket) Girl: "My neck is cold" Guy: "Here"(gives her his scarf) Girl: "My lips are cold" Guy: (Holds her, pulls her close, and kisses her) "All better?"

Y_Y ^_^

Sometimes I wish That I could sing you a love song just to show you the way I feel for you... But I can't because my voice sounds like a raccoon dying in a garbage disposal

That awkward moment when it�s your birthday, and people are singing happy birthday to you, and you just stand there clueless of what to do.

Does anyone else realize how many
terrorist attacks
are going to happen in the next next several days?
We just killed the terrorists leader...
we're kind of screwed.

That awkward moment; When you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"

If Bin Laden had of spent more time playing COD he would of realized camping can only last for so long...

Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my d*ck? Nevermind, It's too long.
Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nevermind, You'll never get it.

"When the boy hangs out with the girl 24/7, he starts to have a crush on her, but he doesnt tell her because it might ruin their friendship. the worst part is that she'd talk bout the guy tht she likes to him all the time, and the boy is always jealous and wished that the guy was him. when secretly, she is talking about him the whole time and is just waiting to see if he would pick up the hint."

I can vouch for the guy part of the story... don't know about the girl's side of the story but if it were to be true then.... damm

I Wish Music Played During Epic Moments of My Life and Not Just in Movies.

When a girl says "whatever", she really means; I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark,and then eaten by it.

3 EASIEST WAYS TO DIE;

1. have a cigarette daily
- you'll die 10 years earlier.
2.Drink alcohol daily.
- you'll die 30 years earlier.
3. Love someone who doesn't love you back.
-you'll die daily

"HOW GUYS FLIRT He stares at you a lot, starts random conversations, he "hits" you. He mocks you to make you laugh.He calls you cute or pretty and it makes you smile. He worries about you and your problems along with his own.He is PROTECTIVE. He always stays close when he can. He looks STRAIGHT in your eyes. He listens to you and remembers the things you say. He will sometimes say something to remind you you've said it in the past.He takes pictures of you even though you say you hate it."

I had no idea.. maybe I should take some notes

"Put me to sleep EVIL ANGEL!, Open your wings EVIL ANGEL!.. Rarrrr" :D I found my hard rock playlist, haven't heard it in such a long time, excuse me if I can't hear you tomorrow, I will probably be a little deaf.

To Baba (that's dad in my language)

I have been having your card in my hands for a while and I really can't figure out what to write on it. I seems that I  don't have any memories; good memories of you. You where never there growing up and I know that I have said this a couple of times but I will say it again, every year when I ran those races, I knew I would never win but right at the end of it I would look to the right, in the crowd to look for you and you would never be there, so now even though your 47th birthday has gone by, I can't write a word on your card but its not because I hate you but because now I know. I know now that all those days when I was younger and only saw you 5 days a month and all those sport days that you missed; Were because you were working your bone to the ground trying to give me a better future, all the times you hit me till I bled was so that I learn what is right and wrong. All this time you did all that a good father should do, even though it got you only my hate. But now I know Baba, the sad part is I could probably never tell this to you, so here it is on the World Wide Web and I am hoping that you somehow stumble upon it.
Take care of your health and I really do love you
Rishi

My partner and I got 5th position at the badminton prelims

I should start studying for Bio, I have a unit final tomorrow.

And lastly, we came in fifth, I think, at the prelims today, not bad.

Secondly, Yeah, I got my learners, a little late but at least I got it. So yeah!!!

First off, a shout out to Kathryn Lacanaria. ---> Happy birthday

Got to break down a wall

while in a conversation

me: I don't know what I am doing wrong

friend: I think its the wall.

me what do you mean by that

friend: I have know you for a while and even though you are normal when you are... normal, when your with a girl that you like, your either really shy or.. not shy at all and that's not the worst part, when the opportunity presents itself you will never do anything, like a paraplegic mother #@(^!%

me: glad to see your enthusiastic concern about my sex life, but ya i have noticed that about myself.

friend: well I remember a guy who never thought about anything twice, IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE ONLY  you have to be impulsive, you got to break that wall down.

stayed up till 6am playing poker and magic with harnam, abdul and ishank.

Finally beat harnam at poker.. officially. 

I just realized that KL's bday is in 6 days and i haven't even gone out for the learners test

This one goes out to all the BFF's

p.s. I Miss You MAN!! (guy version)

I know what I am doing with my other blog now. http://mrbluesessence.blogspot.com/ .. Its going to be a blog devoted to intimacy and all that I have learned about it over the years.

Haven't posted anything on it tho.... 

If I were a character in Sengoku Bassara, I would be Maeda Keiji.

I miss playing ragnarok soooooo bad right now, I heard they came up with a new expansion to it... Y_Y

Every time I think about asking her out this is what happens.. sorta

আমি হপেলেস রোমান্টিক ... most likely 

I finally found my favorite super hero, whos name I did not know.. well now I know, His name is Dr. Strange well the younger version of hin

The one right above the smiley face--------^_^

This one reminds me of a special little girl

Wanted to put this up for a while.

I need a doctor, I need a doctor, I need a doctor; to bring me back to life.

Yay, yesterday's epic fail was easily over powered by todays epic wins against McNally and Strathacona

T_T T_T Y_Y Y_Y Missed a Badminton tournament Y_Y Y_Y T_T T_T

Secret # 16 - I am at my worst when I am jealous, I get really quite, avoid the person I am jealous of and people become the target of my anger.

secret # 15- I am really lucky..

It's like the Irish lepricon casted a charm on me.

secret #12 - I always get what I want

Secret # 9 - My dreams always comes true.

Most of them have.. so far

Slept for 12hrs straight, 8pm-8am.. must have been really tired i guess.

30hr famine... this is going to be interesting.

I need some help

About 2 months ago I thought I had my last smoke. Today I had another one. I feel no rush, no compulsion, yet I smoked it. I feel that this might become a problem for me in the future.

Dammit, Mat has a party today and I can't go.

Should probably go to sleep right now, but I have "friday" playing in my head.... this is going to be hard.

Have to put up the Banff pics, maybe I will make a collage.

Since my last post

1. I have woken up to the unintentional cuddling of a friend, who woke up startled to my presence.
2. Couldn't sleep after that so only had 3 hours of sleep that day.
3. Almost got myself killed by the hands of one of my room mates because I was making a lot of noise with the plastic bags, trying to pack up.
When he finally woke up he told me that he was thinking "I never saw that many bags the whole trip, Did he(me) go to Sobeys?" I almost did go to sobeys that morning, but it was snowing so...
4. Left Banf to go towards Jasper, only to end up back there an hour later due to bad road conditions.
5. We lit the "huckka" I swear people were thinking that we were like hippies, getting baked in the back of the van.
6. Met and hung out with a bud at Calgary for a bit.
7. Had dinner at BP's near Gasoline ally
8. From there all the way to Edmonton we went at 120km/hr sometimes 140-150km/hr, some of those trucks go fast.
9. Got home around 12-something, and played an  April fool's prank on my mom.
All in all an amazing road trip. Ohh ya and "pann" flavor huckka is so mellowing, the only one i really liked.

Maybe I should go to sleep now, got to get up in about 5 hrs.

In a million years I never would have expected to have liked taquila. But I do now.

Banff is really dead after 12 am. maybe I will go to the pub or drink or something.. I already did that.

Finally done with day one at Banff. Everyone is asleep but me.

Going to go get a haircut today, presently my head looks like it has a helmet over it.

I wish more people would read this blog, you know what, I will try making it a bit more interesting.

Need to sleep, but I can't fall asleep.

I have a Chen unit final tomorrow, then a Bio midterm and to end the day, I have a 2 games and I have to win both.

No pressure.

It is frustrating to lose, especially when the opponent doesn't allow you to do your best.

"It's fun to make babies"

In a million years I would never have expected my coach to say that.

We breathe, not because we want to live but because we don't want to die.

Today was the first time I have ever missed practice. My first game is in 3 days against the toughest team here.

I finally found Kathryn equivalence in anime.

aw!!! look at those eyes.

Sorry I stole it from you friend's blog by the way, couldn't resist myself.

Man Machine Beast

I have been wondering for a while if I am human, and if I am, am I good or evil?
What separates man from machine is that man feels, I know I feel... something.
I have felt jealousy, rage, anger, envy, dispare and
I have found myself lacking the ability to comfort the ones closest to me.
I had felt love once, I had once been the comforter to all around me, I was once loved.
In a desperate hope of becoming whole again I search for love... or what i think is love
Because there is a thread of a difference between love and lust, and only when I will have found her
Will I know if it were really love that I was after or was it lust. She will be the dictator of my very being,
Meeting her will define me as being a man, machine or beast.

Can you have feelings for two people at the same time?
they are both great, both very important to me,
both are way too good for me, neither will ever go out with me.
I love my heart, it helps me feel all these wonderful feelings,
but sometimes I wish I never had one, it wouldn't hurt this much.

Chilling in the library with Jowella

Jowella equvilent in anime.

I like this one

Half crippled from birth...Growing old...Envying the young...Hands no longer able to hold the violin I have played quietly all my life...Seeing the eyes of this blue wolf looking toward the sky as if seeking answers to questions he and I do not know to ask...And the bitter irony that I have long used the name Wounded Wolf in my writings ...We are lost kindred, this animal and I... I gaze upon him, listen to this music, and still I wonder to myself, "Why am I crying?"... From The Wounded Wolf

Just finished editing my sister's music. It was quick, I wonder why I am not going into multimedia.

Some secrets are ment to be secrets

It has been almost 3 years since I saw her first, since then we have gone from becoming complete strangers to being friends. Some would say that now is the perfect time to tell her how I feel about her, maybe ask her out for grad, but grad is just another party( an important one) but don't want her to be my mine just this once but for a long long time. But oh what I would give to have her just once. What if she says no, what is we never talk again, what is we stop being friends, these thoughts cripple me and I lay paralyzed between the crossroads. Either I harbor this love and keep getting closer till we are close enough that there is no difference left between us being friends and lovers, or I gamble it all for one moment that I can cherish for the rest of my life.

UMM... Sakura Bubble Tea

Waiting at this bus stop called life, but the bus i am waiting for never comes.

Another Lonely Valentines Day

Why does she cry?

Confession

The biggest thing missing in my life is that special somebody. So friend's when I see you with your special somebody, I am really sorry but I envy you, I don't envy your happiness bu the bond you share, I want to have what the both of you have. I would trade a lifetime of lusty sex just for just one relationship.
They say that there is someone special out there for everyone, so to you, who ever you are, I plea, hurry up. You might be the last thing left that will make me feel human again.

Finally found it. 

Yess Math replacement went amazingly well, this makees me verry verry happy!!!

And out came...

So my english diploma part one is finally over. but that is not about that.

All I have to say is And out came Bunny!!