Sometimes I am glad that my mom does not completely listen to what I have to say

Me and mum walking
Mom: see that girls up there, I love her personality, she is so.. umm so
Me: (was thinking this but said it out loud) so do-able
Mom: ya, she is like lets do this, get this job done.
me: ya mom that's exactly what I meant

Looks like no glasses for me tomorrow.. hmm so where did I keep my box of contacts.

Finally fell asleep at 4am after yesterdays episode. I still have to memorize the toast for the banquet. I think I will take a printout of it, and carry it with me ti try and memorize it.

I guess I am not as brave as I thought I am. I also realized I have no self defense training.

You probably remember that I tell you that I am a little lucky. this is why. you know how in movies the guy in the shop thats being robbed always gets hurt, well I am glad it didn't happen to me.

Time to fall asleep, for anyone who is studying right now.. your not going to remember anything you study right now.

Me right before entering the exam hall for my bio 30 diploma

Me: hey Ahmed I just realized something
Ahmed: What?
Me: I am not prepared for this.

I am so tired of this world, i wishi I could close my eyes and move on to the next one.

School's almost over and I think I will miss a lot of people and there will be a lot of them who I will never see again.

NEWS this week

Spent the week taking care of babies; Still don't regret the idea about having kids someday.

In other news got canned in the nut sack yesterday while playing hockey(goalie). I know the first thought going through some of your minds are, "why the heck were you not wearing a cup?" Well.. first off, I have never played hockey before as a goalie and secondly I trusted my friends would not hit me with a hockey ball and while they are at it put a spin on it so that it keeps on rolling into me after the hit, dam I was in pain four hours after the hit. 

NAIT still sending me mail, I really want to go there asap.

Sibling love is complicated.

me : I just realized that EVERY ONE sitting with me at the banquet are couples.
sis : you should get one too
me : Monday is the last day to order banquet tickets and that's the earliest I can go to school... just not possible, besides what am I going to say, "hey I am asking you to go to the banquet with me but you only have till the end of school to make up your mind."
sis : obviously it wont work if you say it like that, you got to say something like, "hey, I am a loser who hasn't gotten a date in forever, so I would be very grateful if you came to the banquet with me and acted like you really liked me"
me : ouch.. sis: just kidding, just go out there and try your luck.
she cuddles up to me and starts reading her book again

need to finish this toast... I am soo close, just one more line.

I wonder how many people would want to remember me or talk to me after high school.

I just realized that I might never see some people after graduation ever again. Y_Y

Chronicles of my conscience- part 3- Wish you where Mafia

I was watching TV this one time and I saw the lover professing his love by writing(or carving) the name of his love on his chest/hand etc, 8yrs old me thought this would be quite romantic and decided to scribble the name of the girl I had met yesterday during the gun fight and then I hid the diary in my study. Lets fast forward ones more,  it is the last day that I am going to spend at the center, I am 12, still in love with that girl who's name I scribbled on that diary, it's been 1-2 yrs since I saw her last, during the time I at the center, I tried to tell her how I felt, but when your 10 you don't really know what to say, besides her older brother who was my first mentor, sensei; could kick my ass any day of the week, he was still one of the coolest people I have known. They pretty much just disappeared. Over the years I fantasized them being part of something cool, like the Italian mob or part of  some secret organization. This also fed into her(my conscience's personality) 

Chronicles of my conscience- part 2- gunning on charm.

Remember when we were younger, we used to play pretend. I was playing cops and cops i guess for the first time at the center, we had to make gunshot noises when we pulled our "trigger" The first time I shot mine, every one started laughing. You see no one told me to keep it nice and short like a bang-bang or a I don't know something short and sweet. I went in with "diskawuuuu" Never heard the end of it. In the crowd of people I don't really know, I fell in love and you know what they say about first love... actually I don't. For whatever reason, my conscience decided to take her appearance. 

Chronicles of my conscience- part 1- juice box.

This story starts 13 yrs ago. I was six, my mom dropped me off at the day care center. It was not my first day care center, we moved a lot so I had been to quite a few, but it was the most crowded one I had been to. I was a very shy child, I only spoke when spoken to. Lets fast forward this a couple of months, scratch that, a few weeks into the story. Usually after lunch at the center they would make juice from whatever fruit the parents would have sent them. Well one day my mom didn't send anything and I walked up to the counter and grabbed someone else's and drank it, as I finished one of the care takers told me it wasn't mine, I was traumatized, the only two thought going through my head was shit I stole someone else's drink and if I going to die for this, almost instantaneously I started crying. I stayed up during nap time waiting for the girl who's drink I just had and finally we met. I had never spoken to a girl who was not my friend before, so these words were hard to say "I am sorry". Well I was hoping for the usual reply, Grawww blah blah blah, you dog, but all she said was "its ok" those words changed my life. Why is this story important, well my conscience picked up this trait from her. 

Over the years my subconscious has developed into its own, its own being, it has face, a name. This is how it came into my life. This is chronicles of my conscience