I just realized that I might never see some people after graduation ever again. Y_Y

Chronicles of my conscience- part 3- Wish you where Mafia

I was watching TV this one time and I saw the lover professing his love by writing(or carving) the name of his love on his chest/hand etc, 8yrs old me thought this would be quite romantic and decided to scribble the name of the girl I had met yesterday during the gun fight and then I hid the diary in my study. Lets fast forward ones more,  it is the last day that I am going to spend at the center, I am 12, still in love with that girl who's name I scribbled on that diary, it's been 1-2 yrs since I saw her last, during the time I at the center, I tried to tell her how I felt, but when your 10 you don't really know what to say, besides her older brother who was my first mentor, sensei; could kick my ass any day of the week, he was still one of the coolest people I have known. They pretty much just disappeared. Over the years I fantasized them being part of something cool, like the Italian mob or part of  some secret organization. This also fed into her(my conscience's personality) 

Chronicles of my conscience- part 2- gunning on charm.

Remember when we were younger, we used to play pretend. I was playing cops and cops i guess for the first time at the center, we had to make gunshot noises when we pulled our "trigger" The first time I shot mine, every one started laughing. You see no one told me to keep it nice and short like a bang-bang or a I don't know something short and sweet. I went in with "diskawuuuu" Never heard the end of it. In the crowd of people I don't really know, I fell in love and you know what they say about first love... actually I don't. For whatever reason, my conscience decided to take her appearance. 

Chronicles of my conscience- part 1- juice box.

This story starts 13 yrs ago. I was six, my mom dropped me off at the day care center. It was not my first day care center, we moved a lot so I had been to quite a few, but it was the most crowded one I had been to. I was a very shy child, I only spoke when spoken to. Lets fast forward this a couple of months, scratch that, a few weeks into the story. Usually after lunch at the center they would make juice from whatever fruit the parents would have sent them. Well one day my mom didn't send anything and I walked up to the counter and grabbed someone else's and drank it, as I finished one of the care takers told me it wasn't mine, I was traumatized, the only two thought going through my head was shit I stole someone else's drink and if I going to die for this, almost instantaneously I started crying. I stayed up during nap time waiting for the girl who's drink I just had and finally we met. I had never spoken to a girl who was not my friend before, so these words were hard to say "I am sorry". Well I was hoping for the usual reply, Grawww blah blah blah, you dog, but all she said was "its ok" those words changed my life. Why is this story important, well my conscience picked up this trait from her. 

Over the years my subconscious has developed into its own, its own being, it has face, a name. This is how it came into my life. This is chronicles of my conscience